Creating a genuine relationship is a skill. And then, not so much.
A relationship must be desired, built and spoken of with determination. What, where, why and when? And how? Why now? Why not in the past?
How do we get traumatised people back on the horse if those people are not open enough or sensitive enough to our needs, because they are so injured themselves? And even if we communicate to them? I would think that no one really wants to be traumatic or neurotic. No one wants to reveal their worst fears to anyone, especially when we want so much that the other person likes us, or loves us.
Sometimes, and actually more than often, it is necessary for your own mental health to tell your partner about your fears. Ask for help and clarification to things you are unsure of. It is always good to challenge your own and your partners way of doing things. To tell them when you are feeling painful, anxious, unsuccessful, and fearful.
Most people are empathetic and intuitive. We can feel and experience eachother. It is called empathy.
There will be problems if we cannot see the shortcomings or problems of our lover through our pink glasses of love. Sometimes you can’t see the real challenges and problems, until something serious happens. Sometimes it takes 10 months and sometimes only 10 days. Sometimes the alarm bells ring after you are married.
How can these situations be avoided, I ask.
How can we save ourselves from hurtfull and just plain sick people? How can we save ourselves from those who really want bad things for you? From those who do not even actually care? They tell lies about themselves. They tell stories that have no truth in reality. They give you an impression, but in the end they give you nothing. That something could be, and should be, a piece, or pieces of their own insecurities. The insecurities, that you as a human being, should share, in order to create the feeling of emotional connectivity. Something that reveals your vulnerability, and your capacity for just being… human.
We are formed by our stories from the past
Where is our humanity and love for others? And mercy and forgiveness for those who do something wrong, but to whom we will still answer in the name of love. Because we do not want to see them get lost. Even if we do not love them anymore but as we are decent human beings, we want to push them to the correct path in their lives.
I am just asking these things, as I still do not know the answer to the above. And I am grieving for the lack of humanity.
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